I don't know how it took so long but it just clicked for some reason this week. I know. My child is 14 months. But I guess it took that long for me to really realize she is mine and we will hopefully love each other for the rest of our lives.
What brought it on was a conversation I was having with Brian about how weird it is for me to think that Autumn is actually his daughter even though she's not mine. And so I started to really think about that idea. That she REALLY is Brian's daughter. And so I tried to really think about her being my daughter as well and my role as a parent to her. And for some reason as I started to let myself accept Autumn as a daughter, I really grokked and believed that Aria is my daughter, forever.
I think this sounds kind of weird but it is what it is. I'm so used to people coming and going from my life and I guess it just kind of always felt like Aria would one day go as well. But, barring something horrible and unforeseen, she won't. She is MINE forever.
I hope I can be a really healthy mom for her and the healthy but sometimes tough (10 mile runs, passing that delicious looking cinnamon roll, etc) choices I make every day really increase my chances of that!
Here is what this healthy mama is looking today. I must say I am in LOVE with my arms, a first for me. These are also my size 6 jeans again, fresh out of the dryer and NO muffin top! Hurrah!
I love that we found each other! Our kids are a week apart! Weren't our due dates like two days apart?!?! We are runners-in-training, begging to become actual runners. We have both experienced significant weight loss. We both strive for healthy family lives. You're like my mother/runner doppleganger!
ReplyDeleteErr "Beginning" not "begging". I can't type.
ReplyDeleteI know! Let's not forget the most important part, We are both cancers!!! Haha just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI have talked about you to Brian before just because it's so crazy our similarities! I also had to show him pictures of his daughter's future husband, of course!
And I am also begging to be an actual runner. :-D
Oh yeah! Dave knows about you too and he thinks Aria is adorable. I'm always showing him updated photos that you post of her. He seems to approve of the match.
ReplyDelete